


Conversation with my mind.

by KallistoIndrani (Readingfanfics)



Category: Poetry - Fandom
Genre: I needed to vent okay, Poetry, sort off
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-29 06:19:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8478541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Readingfanfics/pseuds/KallistoIndrani
Summary: I just needed to write. This isn't spell checked, it's just what it is.





	

You are a mess. You know that right? A god damn mess! So what if other people get along better with each other then you?! SO WHAT?! It's always been like that before, why would it suddenly change now?

 

**But I.**

 

But you what? Think because you change, everyone else will? C'mon, grown up! The world doesn't change. There will always be friends that think less of you. You'll always be part of the uncool kids, it's just your place.

 

**I can't believe that, I won't.**

 

SO DON'T! Just now you'll be miserable for the rest of your sorry life because you need aprovel from others. And for what!?

 

**I want to feel important, is that so wrong?**

 

What's wrong with being ordinary? Why does everyone want to be important all of a sudden? Important or not, we all die in the end. Why care?

 

**If I don't then what's the point of being here?**

 

**See...You can't anwer that can you? Tell me, if I don't care why even stay here?**

 

I..

 

 **Cut the crap. Anybody who tells you ' I don't care about what people say' are either psyco's or lying. We care! It's what we do, it's why I feel like shit tonight! Don't beat me up because I actually feel somethi** n **g. No wonder you don't have friends.**

 

And no wonder why you scare everybody off! All the drama, all the tears. You are practiacally a bill board for ' NOTICE ME, NOTICE ME'! It's pathetic.

 

**At least I'm not alone!**

 

Aren't you?

 

Don't look like that, half your so called friends are on the other side of the world. Tell me, if you die, who would even notice?

 

 

**I.**

 

See... Can't answer that, can you?

 

**It's not the same. Maybe they won't know I'm dead, maybe they'll notice when the posting stops after a few days, maybe they'll never notice at all but it doesn't mean they aren't important now.**

 

Oh please, cry me a freaking river! Didn't one of your so called friends call you a stalker?

 

**SHUT UP!**

 

Don't start fighting with me if you can't take the heat.

 

**That was ages ago, it doesn't matter anymore.**

 

Then why bring it up in the first place?!

 

**I didn't, YOU DID ARSEHOLE!**

 

I'm you honey, remember?

 

**Shut up.**

 

You know, I bet the only reason you started writing was to get some attention, finally. After years of being called nice and kind. It doesn't get you far doesn't it?

 

 **Being nice isn't a crime**.

 

It should be. People just walk all over you!

 

**They do not!**

 

Oh please, look around Kalli! How many people would help you out if you needed it? How many?

 

**That's not important! You can't just be nice because you want others to be it too. You're nice because it's the right thing to do!**

 

OMG! Do you even hear yourself?! The 'right thing to do', that's bullshit and you know it. You're just nice cause otherwise people wouldn't even notice you!

 

And also, nice is different then good.

 

**What does that suppose to mean?!**

 

You can lie all you want behind your screen darling, but you aren't even close to nice.

 

**That's not true... it's.**

 

Keep telling yourself that honey.

 

**Stop calling me honey!**

 

**You're an ass and I don't need to listen to you! So what if people don't like me that much? They like me enough to talk to me from time to time. Do I want some close friends? OF COURSE! But I won't beg for it! I would rather die then show them how much it kills me.**

 

What kills you?

 

**NOT BEING IMPORTANT! NOT BEING NORMAL! OR WORSE!**

 

**Thinking I am not normal when I all I am is just insigneficant. When people finally realise I am not cool, not even trying to be. That it takes me ages to find something cleaver to say. That it kills me, saying hello and not getting a response.**

 

**Do you know how many 'friends' I have lost, just like that? Just for being me?!**

 

Again, the drama...

 

**OH? FUCK OFF! I am tired off being cool and calm! I am not cool and calm, I never am! I scream in my head a lot! Who ever thought I was calm to begin with! You know what my co workers said?**

 

You're bad at your job?

 

**They said; you don't talk a lot, we don't know a lot about you, your life. And you know why? CAUSE I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY! Some people would even say this isn't a life at all! Just going to work, writing bad, stupid gay fanfiction that doesn't mean a damn thing!**

 

It really doesn't. Why don't you write an actual book?

 

**I've written books! My Sherstrade fic is a fucking book! It's genius!**

 

Should have fooled me.

 

**SHUT UP!**

 

Again with the drama...

 

**You aren't helping me at all! I'm leaving, right now.**

 

You'll be back soon enough darling, you can't live without me.

 


End file.
